the agony of defeat

I suppose not many feel the way us who cannot lose feel so we win win win. But the thing is when I stopped bowling I learnt in bible study that everyone wins and no one loses. No matter where in their walk they are. We all win. There is no loser. We are all winners.

When I lost in bowling by bowling a 150 or a 160 or even a 170 I would throw a fit and throw my skirt and snug tights across the hotel room and slam them against the wall and wail in pain.

To be honest I would like to throw my pants against the wall right now.

I lost some marks cos I missed some parts in my essays.  The thing is I need my three credits. I suppose like our pastor said, I could do a resit. And cry for the lost instead.

Some things are easy for some but hard for others.

The agony of defeat is a not a good place.

So, I’m talking myself through this. Does it matter really whether I lose some points or is it more important that my heart is changed in the theological studies and it is not right to feel failure as a loss but an experience to learn how to fail and yet succeed.

I never ever bowled a low again. The lowest was a 190. Ever. It just hurt too much so I did not want to hurt myself.

We all struggle in areas that others find ridiculous. Yet, what is so ridiculous for some is so very hard for others. For few really.

What seems so hard for some is nowhere near to where others would feel.

All I can say is we are all so very different.

In my own unique way, stress is losing.


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