my heart is broken for JESUS

like a rose
trampled on the ground
YOU took the fall
YOU thought of me LORD JESUS
above all
Global University
the just shall live by faith

when I first heard this worship song I could not stop the tears flowing down down down uncontrollably, when I look at this after so many years, the pressing down of the colours of the rose is like a parallel to the blood that flows down from the body of Christ Jesus, ironic isn’t it, that in the petals of flowers was the very first colours extracted for art, the blood flowing from Calvary is stronger in my heart today than ever, from aged seven, six, twenty, thirty, forty, fifty, now sixty, after fifty years, it still does not fail to touch me in places that I cannot explain or express, into action, for Christ, at a very young age, Jesus called me to Himself, I suppose no one was drawn like I was, cos even way back then, it was only me there, touching the statue of His feet and His hands and His forehead and looking at His sad brown eyes, wondering wondering, it’s Spirit, JESUS is the WORD of God and THEY are Spirit, Spirit and Truth,

The more I study Scripture the more I’m changed by it. The more I read, the more I’m purified by the water of the Word. The Word is Christ JESUS. Share the gospel. I do share it. All the time. For the rest of my life. Is it that the blood from Calvary is ever constantly flowing down from the very feet of Christ JESUS. HIS battered and shattered body in our place for all eternity is won forevermore to those who choose to believe this very simple truth. I’m crucified with Christ and it is HE who lives in me. How changed this very fact is when pondered even by a young child looking for answers in the Son of God whom I believed in. It doesn’t take rocket science to know this. It takes God. All God. All the mornings spent after mass looking and wondering and examining this very feet and hands and eyes and crown of thorns. By myself. The only girl left. No one present. Everyone gone. For half an hour. It is relationship. With Christ. With God. It’s Spirit. Going through Hebrews again, moved me. So tremendously. Our Great High Priest. By the order of Melchizedek. Abraham moved me as well. His faith. And I ask myself. Do I have such faith like Abraham. Yes, I’ve concluded. In a different situation. I believe that JESUS is the Son of God, aged seven. I believe that HE died on the cross. I believe that HE rose. Aged seven. And it was not that anyone asked me, this is the very thing. I believed cos God asked me if I believed. My Father asked me. Aged seven. And I was so moved that day by Christ. Tears rolled down my face uncontrollably. I swore. I made an oath that I would never not believe that God existed. That HE is. Forevermore and throughout my entire life, I do. And then one fine day in an October morning, HE appeared on the cross. When I was old. And everything changed in my world. I became a different person from before. The passion for which HE died for me became my passion to let the whole world know this. I do not understand any of this really. Not really. In the end, it’s just all about JESUS. I heed my Father’s words to me. Follow MY Son. And I have. The only way to heaven forevermore for JESUS is the only way to our Father.Can I grasp any of this. No. I can only do one thing. Write about it. Tell all about it. Easter is a very hard time of the year for me. Cos I’m crucified with Christ. On that cross. My heart broke as HIS did. Can I grasp this. For all this happened before the foundations of the world. See what I mean. 


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