It is true. I am so intimate with Jesus in this place. From seven God called me to this place with His Son, our Lord and Savior Jesus who is the Christ. In my mid-twenties I had already started seeing still pictures of the crucifixion. I wondered why. As a young child I was so taken by the suffering of Christ our Lord that I was transfixed at the cross daily. It was so realized not twenty years yet, that I looked upon the full crucifixion of Christ our Lord for months and then years and and and …. well. It has just for me become the norm. This holy ground. I have wiped the face of Jesus with my hair until there was no more hair to soak up His blood. I have stood at the foot of the cross in tears weeping and trembling as His blood would flow down down down onto my entire body. I have held the left hand of Christ as the nail got plunged into His hand. And wondered why. I need Jesus. He most certainly does not need me. So this year, Jesus is once again leading me to a most intimate place with Him. Many are praying and fasting and knelt down to the Lord to seek His face in His suffering and in His glory. For me, I have said so so many times but have not done so. I seek this year for the first time in my life to kiss my crucified Savior in His lips. His blood soaked lips. At the top of the cross and at the foot of the cross. Where His mother cries bitterly as she holds her Son in her arms. I can only imagine that some have come to this place. Few. In comparison with the population of man through the ages.
There is a baton to be passed. Passed throughout the ages of time. The gospel and the power of the Holy Spirit which caused the first century church to do what they did. We see the world today. The ends of the earth are coming out to us. The gospel is being preached and many see Jesus. I can only do my best. And never give up. I spend all my days either studying Scripture or praying and listening to the voice of God and following His direction in my life. The Lord has chosen for me a place where I would not be persecuted for my calling in this intimate place with Him and Him alone. Though I cannot be understood by all, few know this place. And it’s hard.
Christ has called me to this place to kiss the lips of God. I feel worthy to kiss the lips of Jesus in this place.
The way of the cross is not an easy road. It is the narrow road. It gets narrower and narrower as you age. As you walk more intimately with Jesus. When called, first, I was just seven. Now I shall be sixty-two this year. Many choices I have made. Many commandments I have obeyed. Many things I have turned my eyes from. My ears from. I have spent many days, weeks, months, in prayer and supplication to my beloved Saviour. Weeping for His gift of love to all those who believe by His side. At the cross. In His throne room.
When I lift up my hands, I lifted them up first to touch both His hands on the cross before me. Then His hands in His throne room. You see. Do you see the Y. Yahweh. This is whom I honor and love. This place will break your heart again and again and again like it did the apostles.
Many seek Christ in this place as they go into fasting and deep deep deep deep prayer.
This place is not for the weak of heart. It is where Christ suffered so that we may have eternal life this day.
Do not be afraid. Jesus is a gentle and loving Savior. So, I hold His hand all the time.
When I see Jesus in His great white throne, all I will offer up to Him will be this broken heart of mine from Him. Broken for Him and Him alone, as He has so graciously called me to share in His sufferings. For everything I will count as loss for the sake of the gospel preached to the ends of the earth.