It is truly amazing love. How can this be. I cry too as well, though my Savior is quiet and still. The suffering in Him has quietened His voice. The silence and peace I am experiencing in this place of absolute pain is heart-breaking. I suffocate during the day and choke so I take the sword which I have been given and plunge it down my throat again and the suffocation is not longer and wonder why. I have ever been this questioning person. Since a child of seven I have tried to understand what this all means. Never would or could I have ever imagined that I could find this place so intimately with Jesus. Since my twenties, Jesus has been calling me to this place and as the years pass I enter deeper and higher into His Presence in this most unhappy place. My heart is saddened and downcast. And then I wonder and ask, where is the sweet sweet aroma, Abba Father. I cannot smell it. I cannot smell the sweet sweet aroma that has satisfied Thy wrath O Abba Father. Perhaps, next year. Next time. Perhaps tomorrow. Indeed, I have come far and wide and deep and high. So, I kiss the lips of our Lord, Jesus who is the Christ. The tears water the blood caked patches on His face and my lips are once again filled with the blood of the Christ. His eyes still dark, not beautiful and brown and shiny like they are in His glorious appearing. Sin has taken a toil on the body in flesh of our Redeemer. It is a melancholy place. Deeply saddening. And the tears cannot stop running down my cheeks unto the cheeks of my beloved Savior. Even mine own eyes are saddened deeply and downcast in this holy place. Knelt down low and face buried in my battered and bruised Savior.
And I thought I was being cleaver asking this rhetoric question …………. as …………
‘Who AM I’
Jesus speaks to my heart.
Our God, He is a funny God. He has such a good sense of humor.
‘You jest Lord Jesus in this most terrible time,’ is my reply as He answers me. The tears stream down my eyes, as Jesus speaks to me.
Indeed Easter is a time of deep reflection and time with Jesus in His suffering. Been called to this place since aged seven. And I have answered this call by being with Him. When He calls. This place is not for the faint of heart nor the weary nor the fearsome. It is a place of holiness and awesomeness. In this place HE is God. Jesus is God.