Repentance Of My Rebellious Human Nature Of ‘Inconvenience’


I’m sorry LORD that I do not want the eyes of THINE  O LORD. I repent of my humanity and inability to comprehend YOUR  that I may do what YOU have chosen me to do LORD JESUS. Father, please forgive me. I am reminded of the day when Claudia cried all throughout this worship song. It is so true, YOU have chosen me to glorify THY name above all man. I except the responsibility by YOUR Spirit it will be done according to THY will. Thank YOU LORD JESUS for the privilege to be able to kneel before THEE in forgiveness.

It is always good to make a public apology to JESUS.

Thank YOU LORD for the privilege for making a public apology.

To be honest, it’s a really tough walk. And these three days, before the resurrection of Jesus, it’s heart-breaking. It is easy to go into your secret place, your prayer closet to meet with Jesus but I’m truly not a public, emotional person. Just not one of these public people. Emotionally speaking of course. 
So what did the LORD share with me, at this quiet time with HIM. 
Of course, first of all I repented of my unwillingness to be used when HE called. Just telling HIM it is inconvenient is not good enough. Right.
Actually, it is  not in after my teenage years that brought me to this place of intimacy with Jesus. It was when I was very very young. Under the age of five when it was imparted to me. Sometimes, people who love Jesus so very much and spend all their days with HIM, impart the very heart of the Father has for them by their intimacy with Christ and Christ our LORD. Of course it is not any way humanly that I can know this but revealed to me by our living and holy God. Therefore the tears fell without being able to cease.
I will not compromise my faith. I will not take any steps backwards. I will honor the Scripture and study it and live out the holy walk for the rest of my life.
This is what the LORD has asked me to do.
For my life.
Betty’s ‘different’ and ‘set apart’ speaks deeply to my heart as it was brought back to me in church and in the days after.
Claudia’s tears so long ago in this song. O her heart.
Yes, our God is greater and bigger than we can ever imagine.
Indeed, HE is risen, Christ our LORD is risen, but still there are some who remember HIM in HIS suffering. Our salvation. The cost. HE paid the cost.
I suppose it is so right that I will be leaving the generations to come a legacy from those greats before me. I ever forget to look back as been instructed. To plough forward in territory not been in the outside world in the past. I do suppose what you are born to and brought up to eventually will bless you in the abundance of intimate and holy communion with Christ.
Thank you for your prayers church. Even my husband’s hands and body is filled with the empowerment of the Holy Spirit. His hands are blazing hot. As with mine and my entire body.
Thank you for your prayers.
I shall continue along the holy walk as Cynthia preached and be different and set apart as Betty preached.
I woke up early this morning so I decided later on to have a nap on the sofa like I usually do by my husband. When I woke up, he was holding my hand. Am I blessed or am I blessed!!! All good things come from the LORD, right.



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