Salvation, a heart to Heart matter.
This is where I have been led to realization. God looks into our hearts. He looks at what is true and He can see too what is false. Do not be deceived. He is God and we, well, simply a nobody compared to a perfect and Living God, the Great I AM.
When I was a little little girl, I think, I seem to recall, I must’ve been about seven or eight years old and my mother had a very big argument with the nun who was in charge of my spiritual life. How do I know. My mother raised her voice and insisted that I would be in the front of the procession at the Easter parade with Jesus carrying His cross and leading us. I was to be an angel.
I remember that she fought for me to be in the front and I did not know why and why the nun said I was already far too old to be there. But my mother, she insisted, I was to be there and to look upon the Face and the cross that year.
My life was changed that year.
Standing in second in angel gear, I looked up and observed this Man who was going to be crucified for what.
What? I said to myself.
What a stupid thing to do?
To do this.
But as I looked, I don’t think that I looked in the natural. I looked right up into the spiritual realm. And as I write this, the same tears that filled my eyes, that day, fill my eyes, this day.
It was at that moment that I said,
I believe that You are the Son of God. I truly believe.
And tears rolled down from my eyes, a peace came over me.
It was what happened in the years to come after that very day that changed my life.
Every day I went to church to look into the eyes and face of that statue that represented Jesus Christ. I touched His face. I touched the Blood on His feet and His hands and I could not understand the sadness that He felt inside of Him at that moment. I touched the Blood on His face. I asked Him,
What are You looking at?
Why are You looking upwards so sadly?
The answers to these questions have been answered the early times of these twelve years. By God Himself. Jesus was looking at our Father who is in heaven. His sadness was the sins He was carrying for each and everyone of us. He was so sad cos He knew that our Father in heaven could not look upon sin and He would have to bear them on His own, alone.
I recited the sinner prayer in my twenties. I recite it all the time.
But for me, it’s not a matter of the sinner’s prayer. It’s a matter of the heart.
A heart to Heart matter with my Father who is in heaven and His Son, all brought on by the Holy Spirit, that day,
cos my mother had raised her voice, it must’ve been important. No one raises their voices to nuns or priests in those days. It was unheard of.
I do believe in my heart that I have always been saved since birth. It really doesn’t matter what time, which day, where, why, how, when, from whom, etc, etc.
The only thing that matters is Jesus and that He has my heart in His heart and I reside in His heart and that He loves me very much and no matter what, He will forever defend me, cos He is my covenant Partner and it is His desire to take care of me. This is why He has called me into His kingdom. For His purpose. For Him and Him alone. He is the Christ, Messiah and as for me,
I am just His child, His bride, His chosen, His love ………………..