How Paul Must’ve Felt

I try to understand the people here but it’s so hard. You know what I mean. Probably not. We are so different. When I spend time with people I can know them. When they look into my eyes. When they speak of how they feel and what they love and dislike. Their hopes and sorrows.

What Paul must’ve felt. Going to a foreign people with habits that he did not have and get to know them and get them to trust what he was telling them to be Truth. And just got on with it. What an apostle.

When I was very very young, I wanted to be an apostle. I remembered the way Stephen died. I was seven and I thought that I would love to be crucified upside down. A worse death than Jesus. Bet you don’t know this. This is true. No one could possibly know the heart of another except God and He rewards accordingly. He knows all things. I suppose you are going to tell me that you did not ever want to be crucified upside down cos it would be a worse death than what Jesus had to go through. Now I realize how different you are from me.

I just have one question LORD. Why???

All Of Us

I am a seer you see. I am. It’s a gift from the LORD. I’ve always had this gift but I never ever said. Well, cos. I just thought you were just all just like me. It came as a great big shock to me when I finally found out the truth. We are all very very different. So very different.

Oh well.

What do I see. I see you all who have lived a life for Christ. And held on to hope Himself and only for Him and Him alone. This is for you.

God knows your hearts. He sees each and everyone of you and His love for you is a very deep deep unfailing love. A very deep deep yearning in His heart for you all. So so so so so much. How do I know this. Cos I cry. The LORD is shedding His Tears of love for you all. I do not know any of you so this is not me. He sees you submitted to Him and Him alone. Be brave and strong in Christ Jesus. He is beside you every step of the way. He never leaves you. Keep the faith. Your reward is great.

Jesus loves you all very very much. He says, I love you, all.

My Heart

Where am I in all this. Where am I. I am with Christ as I was in 2004 and all my life. With my God. To make it clear so there’s no doubt. God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit.

My heart is very close and dear to God in this nation. You have a very nice place. Such open skies and such open country. So much of God’s Presence. His name, the LORD God Almighty. So you know whom I’m talking about when I refer to the LORD.

The LORD has shown me how much I’ve grown in Him and Him alone. In the year 2004 I was not as mature in Spirit and in truth as I am now. I gave up to let you all do it. After all, it was what you all wanted, so I gave you all what you wanted. But now, I am standing so strong in Christ Jesus. I am different person inside, all grown up. Now, I just simply don’t care what you think. To me the only thing that matters. CHrist. Him and Him alone.

In all of this I see myself as like Paul, on his missionary journey to the Gentiles and the difficulties he had faced. I was not as strong as Paul, but now, I feel as strong as Paul, I really do.

My heart is so touched by my God in this place, just like before. You really have such a nice place of God. I know. I’ve always been like this. I’ve just never ever said.

Well, it’s not about me. It’s all about Jesus and what He wants for you, right. What does God want for you. The best of course. Take your rightful place, like I have. It’s this simple. Give up of self and do it for Jesus. Not for you. Just all for Jesus. Yes. You can do it. I have.

The Twirl

Oh well, it has been a very extraordinary day with clouds. So here goes and you go figure this out cos I haven’t got a clue. I just write what I see. My part in tis very big picture.

So, I’ll get to the point and simplify.

Firstly, from the west, I saw these lovely blue skies with white puffy clouds, but not many. Just enough to tell you there was no totally blue skies. This spanned from end to end in the west.

Secondly, I looked to the north to see if it was the same, but alas to my dismay, it was totally different. I saw these really dark clouds all in the north, unmoving, heavy and very very thick. They looked so heavy.

So, looked back to the west and nothing had changed there.

Then I looked to the north again and in the dark clouds there was a gap. The gap displayed the cross. And as fast as I write this, it was gone.

So I looked to the west and saw the arrows. So many of them. The pure white arrows filled with light all around them.

I though this was it so I rested but, alas, this is what I saw.

I saw. Wait, you know the twirly raisin danish. Well,

A cloud that was very very dark. It was in the shape of this twirly Danish. I just could not believe my eyes. The head was pointing to the west and heading there. Later I found out it was above the sea in the west, an hour later.

I’m getting better.

So I looked to the west and it was filled with blue skies with a dark cloud beginning to creep it’s way in with the twirly cloud still heading westwards from the east.

You go figure this. I will tell you what I see.

Did I hear anything. Of course I did, but, I can’t write them down. You should know what I heard.

Heart Work

I had heart burn last night. No. You don’t understand. I asked the LORD what was happening and He touched my heart and it burned inside. This is called heart burn. He is working inside of me in my heart. He is creating in me a newer man. And , get this, my hands burned too. I had hand burn. This often happens in my walk with the LORD. It’s like His approval and He gives me His gifts. These are gifts, don’t you think. His spiritual gifts. Inexplicable gifts. Spirit gifts. Gifts from heaven. You see, I don’t seek the gifts from this world. They are worthless, perishable gifts. I seek the imperishable. That which is Spirit, will be forevermore. Amen. Yes, you must agree, yes, amen.


I’m captured by His holy calling. I so remember in the year 2004 it was just the same. I so relate my experiences to Paul’s missionary journeys and why and how and where and what He did. Well why he did what he did for our LORD Jesus Christ. Like him, I share in the sufferings of the Christ and is driven by it. After all it is the centre point of the Word, Christ, Himself. So, here I am so lost lost in the open skies and the open country. I had forgotten hoe loud and clear God can be heard here in this splendid isolation. It’s not about man you see. It’s all about God and His great and mighty masterpiece and maybe, just maybe, just perhaps, well, maybe not, or if one child of His could really really dream, that I too played a very minor insignificant part in His life, this is God’s, I’m talking about. Oh well, whatever, who am I to say anything, but, I can still dream on with my God, God the Father, He who loves me so much from a very very young age, God the Son, my LORD and Saviour, my Redeemer, the Love of my life, and I could go on and on and on and on and of course the Holy Spirit, I don’t know what to say except He leads us all to Jesus. There is just so much and it has not changed in the least. All is the same. Does the heart of a man change through time. Yes, it does. We grow. We grow in Spirit and in Truth.


I’m a nobody. I don’t know anything much. I only see and hear. This has always been me, especially when I’m in a place that is totally separated from the rest of the people. You must know what I mean. Probably not. It’s cos I’ve been at this with the LORD for years and years and years and years. It’s like star-gazing. I don’t do that. I just simply look for God where ever He allows me too. It’s like a hide and seek game.

Back to those clouds in the coming evening yesterday.


The clouds, the grey ones were in the form of arrows. I have no idea what arrows mean. The light grey clouds, from the east to the west were the backs of the arrows. The fluffy bits. There were so many of them. Just so many of them. The thing is if you cannot see, you probably won’t notice them. My eyes see you see so I saw these arrows and I heard to the north and this south and the east and the west. All the directions of the compass.

There you go. What I heard and saw.