Not Enough Love

Matthew 19:14 ESV
Let the Children Come to Me
13 Then children were brought to him that he might lay his hands on them and pray. The disciples rebuked the people, 14 but Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.” 15 And he laid his hands on them and went away.



I am most deeply moved to compassion in my heart about John John. I have sought high and low but no one will teach him English. He is three and is a most active and hard child to teach but I can manage him. Experience talks louder than words. Patience. Love. Kindness. Love Love Love. His father is most upset as he feels he has found a very good and kind and loving teacher. Sophie agreed yesterday at afternoon tea as she enjoys me as her coach. She says I work hard at explaining the game to her though she does not get it. Everyone is in wonder in how she has changed from a backup bowler in less than two months to a stroker.

No one is interested in teaching John John English so he really has to go to Kumon. I suggested twice a week, in a group setting and also Maths. It will help him a lot with his basic Math and English skills and also his social skills.
Lack of love.
No one wants to know.
No time.
He’s just another statistic in the population.
I feel so sad about this.
At least I was able to get MC to coach again.
Nobody cares.
Among the non-believers they know this. Sometimes I find the non-believer knows how to love more than the believer. They are excusable as they are not believers but believers are inexcusable.
This is not John John but he is from China as well as here.

This is a better option.
Lun Lun used to go for his Maths and he was in St. Joseph’s Primary School. He did well there.

It’s only $2900 in Selin, four days a week. It’s only $1450, twice a week. 

I come from a bible study where you learn to love. Even facial expressions are issues where you relay the wrong message of lack of love. Hand movements. Body movements. Not just words. Words. Bible study is not just Scripture but learning how to be a good disciple of Jesus. To be like Jesus. To be HIS good ambassador. 

I come from a game of the world. Far from the familiar place of home with the LORD. Home with Jesus. Shunned for my faith. Beaten. Not loved. But I fought back with love. And won. Love wins. Every single time. When you are able to love those around you who are so different, not only culturally, but also, religiously, people around you, are won by the love of Christ. 

I listen to their stories. Their faith. Their hardships. Like John John’s family. What they are going through. No more job. Worry. Raising a son of three. Cultures that do not match. Across the border and here. Hair styles. How to speak. What to say and what not to. Learn to fit in. Look the same as the others. Sound the same. Do the same. Ask questions that everyone asks. Do not ask things that no one asks. How to behave. How not to. Fitting in. 

I found when I bowled, to fit into the expected mold. Look and act the same. Eat the same. Dress the same. Speak the same.
So, I can get on with it.

My husband and I spoke about John John over dinner. He is best in Selin. Mix with those he needs to fit in with in a group situation. Disappear into the crowd and fit in.

Discipleship is a very holy place where not only do you learn Scripture but how to behave. 



Global University essays on ‘Great Commission Strategies’. The free gift of grace and relaying the gospel lovingly. Everyone needs a loving God in this unloving world. 

The Joys Of Life In General

It was a most enjoyable time again with Sophie. She is beginning to feel the timing and when and where to roll the ball. And where the ball is supposed to be in the four step approach. She is trying her best to relax her thumb. And can do so but suddenly she gripped for no obvious reason except her old habits manifest themselves at some point. But she is beginning to know what she is doing wrong now. With great explanation, she is able to grasp the basics of the four step approach. She can swing a relaxed swing, finally on a one, two, three and four step approach and get a strike on each step. She can even roll the ball on a no step. Her spare shots are fixed. Today I taught her parallel curves but she cannot see them on the lane. She has not been able to understand a sequence of parallel curves which gives her a shot at the head. She has not been able to grasp this yet. Not at all. She not only cannot see them there parallel lines. She just does not know what I am trying to tell her. What a shame. It opens the lane extensively. Just play with the centre point. Vary and create. Options. Her old habit of just slamming it down straight comes back now and again. Sheer force as compared to roll and break. But, she is improving and the shot does look like a shot now.
We bumped into Connie. We bowled quite a number of times in Opens and one world. But she quit. The boys were mean to her. Bad boys. She blamed me for not standing up for her. Hey, I was the one who got the bruises on my arms. Not found Ann nor Carmen yet. My buddies. Carmen bowled a 1300 once with a ten and an over turn till her palm faced the ground. 180.
Thinking of this car for Colin and Caroline this summer. There was a traffic accident. It caused a tremendous traffic jam at a junction. John John’s dad teared when I told him I was leaving. He is about to lose his job and wants me to stay with his son until I leave as I have a soft and loving heart. He says I’m a good teacher. Sophie said I am too as I explain everything to her about the game. She said she never had it so good before. Usually her coach just asks her to go on to the lane and bowl. That is it.
O the complexities of life in itself. It is good not to be serious about these things or take it too much to heart.
My mover called. He is a very nice man. A great helper around the house at times of moving. He will bring his screw driver and a ladder along on moving day. Just to help us out. He must be a great son to his mother. He has moved us many a time.
I think I do not need to be street smart as I never have been nor ever will be. Not raised to be nor my sons. Once I was told off as my sons were not and asked to teach them to be so. I have no idea. Will never have. With no intentions of ever being. So, I stay away from street smart people. They are mean mean people.

In all of this, in the end, it’s all about Jesus Jesus Jesus. The way the truth and the life. There is no way to the Father except through HIM.
As the packing continues on and the things all disappear into boxes, we are getting there surely. Surely indeed.


Sometimes You Just Gotta Pray, Draw Me Closer To YOU LORD JESUS

The LORD takes us on a journey that is impossible for us to ever in our puny minds that we can ever imagine.

Right church.
In all of this, I still pray and pray and pray the words of my ❤ that the LORD may take me even further and deeper and higher, intimately more close to HIM than today. Each and every single day of my life. With every single breath that I take. Cos cos cos HE loves me so. And my response is to HIM.
Yes, LORD JESUS, I ❤ YOU so.
Father, I followed all that YOU have asked of me.
Holy Spirit, never leave me nor forsake me and take me to greater depths and higher places in Christ Jesus, our LORD. The Christ.
As the world spins on into oblivion, all I can do is enter into the spiritual realm day in and day out. Night in and night out.
I will never give up the good fight of faith.
Thank YOU LORD JESUS for my blessings cos YOU remembered me when YOU died on the cross so I can be whom YOU have chosen me to be. YOU know all things LORD JESUS.
I am fierce cos the LORD created me this way.
HE is more fierce.
The Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.
Todd White preached at our service today. He was so funny. He is radically and passionately in love with Jesus. He said that when pressed, what fragrance or aroma is released in you. When it is Jesus, the fragrance of Christ, it blesses others as you go through the fire. I laughed so hard.
My anointing is getting better and better. Actually. When touched by others, their pain is transferred on to me and I feel their pain. I know what they are going through. Fortunately for me, I have had the good life. Therefore, when the bad life manifests itself, it is not of mine. It is of those whom I have come in contact with.
Interesting right.
The seer anointing.
Some are going through tough times. I know cos it ain’t me. The only tough time I ever get is getting knocked on the head cos others are going through tough times. The only tough times I get is not getting my way.
I’m a spoilt brat.
Even where the LORD is concerned.
HE loves me passionately and radically. HE allows me close to HIM.
I suppose we all get to the next level. Some take longer than others.
Lee and John were at our service and she prayed for me. John is so tall now. He used to be so fat. Now he is tall and slim.

We then had a lovely lunch with Jo’s family who brought us to Bangkok for a lovely lunch. It was awesome. Our parting meal for now. Look at the spread. I had so many whole garlic pieces. I love garlic. Unfortunately, my husband knows this. I love curry crab. I had a huge claw. That was a huge crab. Lydia had the shell. Jo just had the sauce. I tried everything once.
Then it was the family and I came home for my long long long long nap.
It sure helps.
There is a huge difference between the things of this world and the spiritual things. There is a separation. When you live in the Spirit, and Truth, you live a totally different life. Set apart for the gospel of our LORD, Jesus who is the Christ. Messiah. What a difference. You no longer belong to the world. You belong to Jesus. You belong to the kingdom of God which is spirit. The things of this world will all end but the things of God will be forevermore. The world does not understand the things of God. Spirit things. They persecute the spirit things because they do not know Jesus. Like when Jesus was on this earth. They do not know HIM so as we know HIM, we know the things that are of Jesus. So, we are persecuted for the sake of Christ.
obediencetothewordOur church is entering into a new season in their walk with the LORD. The seasons come and go and they can be easily seen. There are so many people now. Jam packed. In one little space. There is a circle in the things that happen. It just goes round and round and round. Back to the beginning. Again. The kids will grow.
Knelt down to this lady who was crying and screaming so badly. She is suffering. She was shaking so bad from her suffering. She wanted to kick and box her hands into the air. Scream and rant and rave. It was so sad. Abuse of some sort. I do so hope she found peace today at the altar.

There are so many people suffering in this world. I do not understand this place. I do not know this place at all. I have lived truly a very good and happy life. With Christ, in Christ, for Christ. A place of peace and love and goodness. The goodness of God. It comes with my calling. I shall pray for the people of this world who are suffering. I suppose Jesus saw this and it touched HIS heart. So HE gave HIS life for these suffering people. I can honestly tell y’all that I do not know this place. All my life. Life has been in the abundant blessings of God. Choices. Or just that HE chose me before the foundations of the earth. My Father has truly set me apart in HIS sanctuary. I’m proud to be me. In this imperfect world, there is a perfect God who saves and gives peace to those who believe. In all of this, God will make a way where there seems to be no way. Leave it all up to Jesus. HE can do it. Yes, HE can. HE’s got it. All. All we have to do is to see what HE is doing in the lives of those around us. And say, Amen Amen and Amen.

Moving Forward


I’m really tired these days. I was asleep by 8 pm tonight. Flat out. Life is somewhat a bit tough packing and getting ready for the move. But, everything is falling into place. The LORD is putting everything into place and it’s beginning to be very exciting. Very, very exciting.

 It is an unfamiliar place I am in. Though I have done this before, once, this is like new ground as direction and open doors are before me. In front of me. It’s like a new journey. Something new and exciting. Think I know why everyone moves after a time. New beginnings. Even the old ones become new ones.
Think walking with Jesus is a very good place to be. Even my husband is ready to get up and go to our house and our home. We are both so happy and have peace about it and every single door is opening before us. HE is making it so easy. You hear months. Places. You just get direction. Is it not that we just get so close to the LORD, HE directs our every single step we take.

I tell you.
There is awesome power in the blood.
And by the empowerment of the Holy Spirit by fire.


I Saw Daniel Kolender Peach The Gospel, He Is A Handsome Man Of God


Daniel Kolander preached the gospel last night in our church. I wanted to see him and listen to his preaching of the gospel. I had been to Billy Graham here when he came when I was so young and was amazed by his preaching. He is awesome. What a handsome man he is. A  handsome preacher. Full of the power of the Holy Spirit. He preached with so much conviction. His voice was loud and firm. Sure and without fail. He knows God and he knows Scripture. Yet, they all say this, it is the seeker in his or her seeking they find God in the way God has called them to the place. I suppose it is by diving appointment. My mind still goes to Pentecost and the empowerment of the Holy Spirit by fire which obviously this young preacher has received for his words are spoken with such power or not so may millions would have come to Christ our LORD.
My daughter looked beautiful in her worship of Jesus. I covered her in prayer and called down the glory of the LORD unto her. Indeed, she has never been the same since way back then. She is truly my spiritual daughter.
We were to lay our hands on each other and this I could not understand when the gentleman put his arm on my shoulders, afterwards, when he removed them, there was a pain on my left arm. This is a first and well, what does it mean. It hurt for about ten minutes to fifteen minutes. This has never happened before in the past. Nor have I heard about this from anyone, before. None of my teachers. He transferred pain over to me.
Jesus was with us in this conference. I saw HIS face right before my very eyes. The glory of the LORD fell upon me and I was truly happy.
Just walking into a brand new season in my life.
It was an unusual pain. Just on the bottom of the top of my arm from my shoulder to the left where he had his arm over my shoulders. Well, just heal him in Jesus’ name. Amen.
Life is great. I got so tired I had to go to bed at once when I got home and slept for seven hours straight. So did my husband.
What is before me is the most exciting forward I have ever experienced. There is so much to look forward to. So much to be happy about. I told Andisit I was leaving. Think most are not that happy I am leaving but it’s God’s call and not man’s call. This is the thing. I was obedient to the LORD when I had returned last and well, the time is up. My husband is happy. Our grandson has been healed from his affliction. He is all grown up and lives his own life. Our church is now what they call a mega church. We only had two services. From one and now we have four every Sunday. I am going to churches of ours that are tiny. The one near us is like more like a home church. Family church. Growth. Expedient growth expected. Think of the banner ministry I will be able to start with new ladies. Bible study opportunities. Prayer meetings with the ladies. Cooking. I see sunshine and laughter. People who are blessed in the eyes of the LORD. HIS heart. I’m truly excited.
What I am leaving behind is so good.
Think it’s good to see such a great preacher of our time just before I leave for my next assignment oceans apart.
When God calls, you pick up and leave to a place where only He know what is in store for you next. In the years to come.
The thing is everything has fallen into place. We got a container for our furniture to be put there till it will be shipped. My husband is a bit annoyed as this is the third time it is getting shipped. Back and forth, back and forth, he says. This is the last time, I tell you. My husband is a very patient and understanding husband.
This time round, he is happy he is going back home to his birth place.
Delighted really. Back to his home. His house. The one God chose for us. It is lovely really. Perfect for the two of us. It is a big house. A new and modern one.  God’s plan for us is perfect. We just have to live in it. We are so excited really, just really really tired packing, this is all. Exhausted really. Not to worry. Prayers are sent our way. I feel them in my hands and my body. Hot and prickly. Like pins and needles.
God does not need perfect. He just needs us to be available when He calls us.

This is the second time He has asked me to move and I have done it immediately.
Try it sometime soon. It is the most amazing feeling you feel inside of you. Just get up and leave. Cos cos cos ….
God calls ……….
HE is knocking in the door of your heart and you just say
Hey, that young man is going places in Christ.
Daniel this is.
They all say this, you find what you are seeking for.
And this, why God moves across the room and blesses the unexpected one. What about the rest of the faithful ones.
In mine heart, deep deep in the place where only the LORD can touch, He tells me that there are more more blessings to be found in Him in my life.
Amazing right.
I do suppose it comes as I have been obedient to His call on my life
Hey, the second passion of the Christ is going to be made about the resurrection. Amazing right.
Talk about changing the world.
God changes it, we just need to be available to be used by Him and Him alone.
Christ and Christ alone.
The power of the blood.

Revelation 12:11 ESV

11 And they have conquered him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, for they loved not their lives even unto death.


Still perplexed here. 
The empowerment of the Holy Spirit.
We have the gospel and signs and wonders, last night.
What about this.

Dizzy Dizzy Dizzy


The stress of the packing and running around.
I need to slow down and stop.
Just woke up from a seven hour deep sleep.
The room was spinning around last night.

 Do not want to end up in the A&E vomiting. Last time just because the nurse asked me a question, I vomited. When she took my blood, the blood went flying out all over the floor. She said last time at least I’ve got lots of it and it looked healthy blood. All over the place. She stopped talking to me as I could not stop vomiting.
Admit my short-comings. If I can’t handle it, I just can’t.
The stress of the packing.

Like any British teenager I was brought up on music.

Kadosh Kadosh Kadosh Blessed Is HE Who Comes In The Name Of The LORD

Matthew 11:27-29 (ESV)

27 All things have been handed over to me by my Father, and no one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and anyone to whom the Son chooses to reveal him. 28 Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
images (1)

Kadosh Kadosh Kadosh
Revelation 4:8b
“Holy, holy, holy, is the Lord God Almighty,
who was and is and is to come!”
Psalm 118:26 ESV
Blessed is HE who comes in the name of the LORD

Kadosh Kadosh Kadosh

Revelation 4:8b
“Holy, holy, holy, is the Lord God Almighty,
who was and is and is to come!”

Psalm 118:26 ESV
Blessed is HE who comes in the name of the LORD

Revelation 4 ESV
The Throne in Heaven

1After this I looked, and behold, a door standing open in heaven! And the first voice, which I had heard speaking to me like a trumpet, said, “Come up here, and I will show you what must take place after this.” 2At once I was in the Spirit, and behold, a throne stood in heaven, with one seated on the throne. 3And he who sat there had the appearance of jasper and carnelian, and around the throne was a rainbow that had the appearance of an emerald. 4Around the throne were twenty-four thrones, and seated on the thrones were twenty-four elders, clothed in white garments, with golden crowns on their heads. 5From the throne came flashes of lightning, and rumblingsa and peals of thunder, and before the throne were burning seven torches of fire, which are the seven spirits of God, 6and before the throne there was as it were a sea of glass, like crystal.

And around the throne, on each side of the throne, are four living creatures, full of eyes in front and behind: 7the first living creature like a lion, the second living creature like an ox, the third living creature with the face of a man, and the fourth living creature like an eagle in flight. 8And the four living creatures, each of them with six wings, are full of eyes all around and within, and day and night they never cease to say,

“Holy, holy, holy, is the Lord God Almighty,
who was and is and is to come!”

9And whenever the living creatures give glory and honor and thanks to him who is seated on the throne, who lives forever and ever, 10the twenty-four elders fall down before him who is seated on the throne and worship him who lives forever and ever. They cast their crowns before the throne, saying,

11“Worthy are you, our Lord and God,
to receive glory and honor and power,
for you created all things,
and by your will they existed and were created.”

In line with the season of Pentecost here.
In submission and subjection to Christ our LORD.



O both me and my husband were so tired last night when we just went to bed and that was that. Not a thought. No energy. The packing is going well indeed but it is tiring. I have to say with so much experience packing for a move, locally and overseas, it’s easy. A been there and done that experience, so it’s basic. We know what to do. Everything is beginning to be in boxes in the two bedrooms. Just the books are in the living room as they are so heavy. The living room is beginning to clear. In my disorder of things there is an order in my madness.

Yeah, I dunno why no one is falling down. I always fall down like this. It’s embarrassing. Those who know me know I just fall down. No choice. Experienced this when a speaker came for a visit for a conference one year in the late eighties or early nineties and he walked past us and just spread our his hands over us and I fell back and down on my seat and I could do nothing to stop it. The power of the Holy Spirit. Even in my twenties, I would fall backwards. Nothing could stop it. Dunno why no one falls down now. I still do. Even my eldest daughter knows, I go flying.

To have an inexhaustible, unending knowing of who God is, in Spirit and in Truth.
It is an experience that you never ever forget in every fiber of your being because HE is God.
This is the thing.
To know that HE is God.
A demonstration of HIS power.
And no one can do anything about it but submit to a holy God.
At least, this is my experience.

The question is, is all this our constant.

Home sweet home. 

Actually, no fame on this earth can satisfy. There is no satisfaction. If you have been me and won on a national television scale where the entire nation who watched knows you as it is live on TV and as you walk, people recognize you for the champion you are. It does not satisfy. 

This does. Only God does.

The object of every lesson in life, who help others get to whom they really are, are those who do not know but try their best. We can only all try our best as at the end of the day, no one has the answers. We are learning and growing together.
I am blessed to have three women who have cared enough to give me their all, so that I can attain, my best. Give my best as they have given and sacrificed their best.

Therefore, I do it for my children.
Especially, my loving two daughters.
Lydia and Jo.
If, but you could see what I see, as they worship, then you will know.
A mere quick second glimpse of their heart.
And then mine melts.
Can you imagine how Jesus feels.
HE is ever with us.
Here my daughters, Lydia and Jo, your crowns for Jesus at HIS feet.
Service unto the LORD.
No mere feat.
For God looks at the heart by which HE is moved to greater love for HIS beloved brides.
The former will bless the latter, the greater blessing. For what is to come, and is.
Keep your heart pure and clean unto the LORD and live your lives according to Scripture.
Jesus is the word of God.

2 Samuel 6:14-15 ESV
14 And David danced before the LORD with all his might. And David was wearing a linen ephod. 15 So David and all the house of Israel brought up the ark of the LORD with shouting and with the sound of the horn.



Sometimes in life we forget how far we have come in this journey called life with our LORD Jesus who is the Christ. Then, one fine day when we actually stop and think about it. ie Write about it. We are shocked at the progress we have made through the decades.




Ecclesiastes 3:11 (ESV)
11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man’s heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end.