When I was young, very very young, I just knew that to be still and to find HIM. To find my Father who art THOU in heaven. I’m blessed. Truly blessed. I found THEM all. All THREE of THEM, my Father, HIS SON and the Holy Spirit. The Godhead, THREE in ONE.

O I just be so very very still and know that HE is God cos HE speaks and HE appears and I know that one day when it is time for me to see HIM FACE to face it will be no different from today and how I see HIM. Only so much better. So very much better. It will be like we were never apart. The conversation would just continue on like it was just an ordinary day like any other day.

God is good all the time.

Be still.


just a drop

Just a drop of the Holy Spirit from heaven. Just a single drop. Think about this. Hey, this is what happened to me this morning. Think it’s about me. No way. It’s all about God and what HE tells me. What HE shows me about HIMSELF. About what’s all happening between HIM and me. JESUS and me. My Father who art THOU in heaven and me. The Holy Spirit and me. Hey, gosh, my gosh, my golly gee.

Hey, just one single drop from the heavens.

Think I’ve got it altogether. Nah. I know someone who has. My God. JESUS. The LORD. MESSIAH. The Great I AM.

O LORD, just a drop of YOUR GLORY from the heavens LORD JESUS. Just a drop of YOUR LIGHT. Just a drop of YOUR Presence in my life and ……. YOU”RE all I need.

I reach upward towards my PRIZE. I saw JESUS at worship last night and HE was in HIS head covering and I drew the shape of HIS head and eyes and nose and mouth and face and lips. O those precious lips that speak to me. O LORD JESUS JESUS JESUS, YOU are LORD and God of all. YOU are my BRIDEGROOM.

I have this personal battle. I’ll admit my battle to you. Whom do I love most. My Father who art THOU in heaven or JESUS.

The thing is, I really really love my Father who art THOU in heaven most.



Cos when I was little it was with my Father whom I spoke to and who spoke back to me and answered me and forgave me my sins and just was with me and till this day I feel that my Father is ever with me. JESUS is the Way the TRUTH and the Life and the DOOR but my relationship with my Father is so deeply ingrained in my inner most being that it is HE that my heart craves for.

19 April 2013 lions-kiss-cindy-elsharouni


I listened to my Father’s instruction.

Follow MY SON.

And I did.

And I do.

Back home.

I’ve seen my Father. HE is gentle and kind and loving and HE only ever smiles at me. HE is goodness

1 September 2012 my JESUS

an abandoned heart in Christ

Sometimes, in the huge picture of all things, God comes down close and whispers words to us. We try our best to do what HE says. HE is God. We, we are just mere man. And it just seems hopeless in the light of all things. We do not let go of HIS words or HIS desire. We just hold on. Obedience is not easy to live God’s way. People do not help us with our dreams from God. We are shunned for being …. who knows …. God gives us verses in the bible to ensure us that we are waling along the way HE wants and we just do as HE says. In the end, at the end of all this, I have to answer to God myself. I have to stand before HIM and give an account of my victories an failures. I know HE will say, it’s alright. I did it all for you on the cross already. Is it that since a very early age of only just five, I stared to begin to comprehend the severity of God’s words to me, and then, started to understand how important it was to obey them. Along life’s journey, people started to believe as I believed and began to hear God’s call and obeyed. It’s very touching how God works in the hearts of man. HIS very own children. The thing is this, I did not ask to be called. I just am called. We are all called. All called to obey when HE speaks. Sometimes it’s not hard. It’s not easy. These became one of these times. I suppose my Father’s words of just wanting me to love HIM rings clear. I just want you to love me. I can honestly say, I answered this in my life. Every single day of my life and I’ll love my Father who art THOU in heaven every single day of my life forevermore. Obedience can look so weak and stupid. But in the sight of the LORD, it means everything to HIM. HE’S not looking for just one, HE’S looking for all of us, from all of us. The answer to HIM just must be, yes, LORD, yes, LORD, yes, yes, LORD. Of course, right.

pure white bright LIGHT

I have this obsession. This desire. This need.

To seek things that are pure bright white. Everywhere.

When you’ve been inside the heart of JESUS which is pure bright white LIGHT, then, you would know what I mean. I have this absolute pure desire to see this place everywhere but in looking in this world, I have found nothing at all. Nothing whatsoever that can, no, look like the very heartbeat of Christ JESUS our LORD, MESSIAH.

You know what JESUS told me today. HE said that like Enoch who walked no more ….. he was in this place. Can you imagine this. This place with Christ JESUS.


Do you know our Father who art THOU in heaven. I do. HE is my Father.

Do you see those drops of tears on the daffodil. Do you. They are the tears JESUS shed for me on the cross. They, too, are pure and transparent. They are like the Holy Spirit. See – through.

I have no fear now. Not for the things of God.

I have lots of fear regarding the things of this world for this world is still with the evil one in it. So, bad things happen.

I have not fear for the things of God. It’s peaceful and nice and quiet and still still still.

My Father keeps me in this still still place. A place in HIS sanctuary. In HIS Divine Presence. All the time. All my life. Forevermore. HE has made sure I know the way home.

In HIS Presence.

4 January 2013 Psalm-36-5-ss

my insecurities

I’m such an insecure person. You’d never think. I didn’t realize it myself.

It’s been tough getting to this place. Real tough. I’ve had to turn turn turn to the LORD and seek HIS Face in great times of turmoil and desperation. But you know what. I did it and well … I’m her to stay. Safe and secure in my Father’s arms of everlasting LOVE.

I don’t need to be strong. I’ve a Saviour who is strong. I just rest in HIM and and and ….. bask in HIS GLORY.

5 January 2012 neither death nor life can separate me from Christ Jesus

just began my study today of Hebrews at Global University :)

Galatians 3:22 - Scripture has shown that all mankind are the prisoners of sin,

I’ve just started my bible study at Global University, today again. I’m berry berry happy.


I chatted with my LORD and Saviour about it. I’ve been listening to Hebrews in the car as Keith our last lecturer shared his study of the Old Testament with us. I’ve been listening to the thirteen chapters many times in the car. It’s all about JESUS as our great High Priest.  

The LORD said that I needed to draw closer to HIM. I needed to draw closer to JESUS.

What a wonderful revelation.

As I hear God’s WORD to the Hebrews, I get the desire to draw much closer to JESUS than I have ever been with the LORD. I cannot understand this. They say that the WORD is sharper than a double edged sword. I’m obviously not close enough as yet.

The LORD told me that the WORD purifies, sanctifies and justifies us and it glorifies HIM.

So, I’m a person with a mission. To draw closer to a HOLY God through HIS God – breathed WORD.

Amen amen and amen.

-Revelation 1:13 (AKJB)

I love to study God’s WORD.



I’ve made tremendous breakthrough here. They really know how to teach Scripture. I’ve been able to take in the Overview and the picture that my brain takes in in the Overview is in. I used to have so much trouble with Overviews. Could not understand how to see it in my mind. But the way I’ve been following Global University’s way of teaching, has, opened up the books and the Old Testament for me.

This is truly working out for me.

Christmas is here.

I can even remember the chapter division for the entire book. Tremendous breakthrough for me. This is working really really well for me and our lecturer is very patient and kind and the spreadsheets make it so much easier to digest.

We all admit after Payne, Hagner is as cinch.

I’m going to remain with Global University as it’s really working out for me and I’m digesting the bible like never before. Not that I’ve not before. In a very different way. I used to translate word for word but now the entire bible is opened up for me to look at, in my mind.

Great way of teaching.

Well done, Global University. We are all enjoying our second year and a half with you and going all the way for the next four years. And more.

where are YOU LORD

Image: An illustration of the Milky Way galaxy

Photo: Merging galaxies shaped like a mask

I will seek YOU in every single corner YOU allow me by YOUR grace that I may find YOU FAther, by the victory of YOUR Son, Christ JESUS, the DOOR, I will never stop seeking YOU in every place, for this is my calling for YOU which YOU have graced me, to seek YOU until I see YOU FAce to face, Father, Father, FAther ……

Photo: Messier Galaxy

This is truly not my home. I’m a foreigner on my way back home.

Home sweet home.

Photo: Elliptical galaxy and billowing cosmic dust

The Holy Spirit is prodding me. Calling me,  in HIS gentle soft breeze, for my eternity …….. for all eternity …… FAther Father Father …………….

Photo: Composite of spiral-shaped Messier 81 galaxy

YOU don’t want a perfect child, Father, YOU just want this child. YOU just want me ……… all broken and battered and bruised ….. all for YOU FAther ………..

I see with new eyes ( a new birth )

When I was little I sought the LORD, my God, my Father in heaven all the time. I looked up to the skies. Then one day I heard HIS voice and then one day I saw HIM.

The LORD has given me new eyes with this open door which I have walked through.

I’m looking up but with new eyes. There is a speck of the return of Christ. Can you see it. Can you can you can you. Can you see it. There is just but a speck of HIS LIGHT in the skies, the clouds. HE is returning.

Then the LORD showed me where HE has placed me. In HIS courts. Right in HIS courts. And in HIS courts HE said, you can dance here and bask in MY GLORY MY child. MY bride. And I looked around my new home. It’s beautiful. My eyes are open. I see with open eyes.

And the LORD said, a new birth.

4 December 2012 Longing-for-the-day_2011

And the LORD said as I looked for HIM in the skies, for HIS return, home, the compass home. Now I look upwards to see the eminent return of my Saviour.


I just never ever realized how very very intimate I am with my God, just ever since. Just ever, ever since. Indeed for me, myself, is a very nice revelation, given by the LORD, finally.

I live my life in a dream, I have found. Days run into years and years into decades. I wish I could tell you that I was some awesome person. Someone extraordinary. Some fantastic person. But, alas. I just feel like this insignificant woman who has lived her life to it’s fullest. And, indeed I have.

If you asked me how many medals I have won. When and where.

I have this vague impression of countries that would swirl past my mind. That would be about it. I do not even remember standing in the victory platforms. I have won so much I actually had to ditch the trophies just to get rid of them.  At the time I won them.

I vaguely remember standing in front of Chris Pattern our Governor at Government House. He gave me a funny look. Like I did not fit in. I smiled back.

I remember coming in first in the passing out parade and getting a silver whistle and vaguely remember my number. I was just a teen. I looked odd walking along the streets at the dead of night in my uniform. People actually stopped and stared.

When I won the maximum number of medals one could get I was given a letter by the Government congratulating me for service to my country.

I cannot for the life of me remember what colour or even remember how I did it. I just remember the first time I met this lady who then became a world champion and ended her life so abruptly at the peak of her career, saying to me, who are you. As I dominated and flew past everyone in a whiz.

I have no idea where I have put that medal. It’s lost under a box of medals somewhere.

It was all just a dream.

Like my walk with my Father who art THOU in heaven.

So, it has come to an utter and complete shock to me, my intimate walk with the LORD all my life …. Without knowing it.

Millions of dollars have been spent on me yearly so that the great ambassador and representative for my country would be. And I did it all. Spoke to people whom I have never met in a far off land, confident that I would be a great ambassador for my country.

When asked once, how come out of my tiny island, such a great bowler could be established.

My reply was, there are far greater at home in Asia. They will come.

It all started here.

I started walking with the LORD at this age ….. had a dress just like this …. so funny …… this is me …. so funny ….. my entire life has been like a dream …. with God ….

I’ve come to a point in my life where ….. I’m humbled by whom the LORD has created me to be and …. happy ….. very berry happy ……

Today when the LORD and I spoke, it was awesome.

We really get to a point when God is God and that is that and what more is there to say.

HE does it all.


We just have to agree with HIM.


Life in a nutshell.